By

John Wright

Ten years ago at age 65 I was kidding with my primary care doctor about my life expectations/wishes opposite some of my less than intelligent choices related to alcohol, questionable food choices, lack of regular aerobic exercise and most of all my continued cigarette smoking. I said I expected to live to age 75 doing everything I wanted to do, at which time I would jump up and down and shout, "I won!" I then said anything after that would be an unexpected and likely undeserved extra gift of time. My point was that my genetics had the strongest influence on my longevity, and to a lesser extent my exposure to such things as cancer causing chemicals or radiation.

What may not be obvious was my unstated belief that the decline of physical and mental abilities in all of us due to aging make the living of a longer but more boring life relatively pointless. Second point: If I haven't done everything that matters, everything I always wanted to do, many times over, by the age of 75, then I wasn't doing a very good job of enjoying the gift of life. More years wouldn't change that reality. The problem with most of us that has us chasing a longer life is nothing other than fear that the end of life is the permanent end of everything. Well, whatever does or does not exist in terms of an afterlife, we're going to die anyway first.

At age 65 I had gone 43 years without a flu shot and I had no intention of changing that behavior. I did, however, follow a rigid regimen regarding exposure (lack of) to communicable diseases. My conclusion was that my immune system had worked hard enough and had done very well in protecting me to age 65, so it was my turn to protect myself from other people who happened to be sick as I got older/became elderly. It worked well and it continues to do so as a safety practice.

To be fair I must add that my genetics did not protect me from developing high blood pressure, so I do take blood pressure medications. Similarly, my prostate gland continued to grow, which would impede urinary flow if I didn't take a medication to relax/shrink the prostate gland. I also take some over the counter medications to maintain even and regular heartbeats and to avoid heartburn/reflux, and to avoid irritation of heart muscle and blood vessels (aspirin). In short, my genetics aren't perfect either, but available medications are keeping my issues from damaging me or killing me. Also, I received inoculations to protect against shingles and pneumonia once I entered my 70's. Why? As we get old our bodies cannot tolerate the stress of serious illnesses like they could when we were young. I say, to quote the old DuPont® slogan, "Better Things for Better Living through Chemistry!"

I scoff at silly things like sterilizing hand wipes in supermarkets as they are only a bad joke. The foods in the produce department and the food containers elsewhere have been handled and can harbor anything and transfer it to your hands, so wiping the hand grip on the shopping cart means exactly nothing if you are smart enough to not rub your eyes, your nose, or put your fingers or anything else into your mouth while shopping, and while prior to washing your hands at home afterward. Note that I also keep my distance from other shoppers and store employees to avoid being in a direct line if one of them happens to sneeze. The main thing is to protect your body entry points, which means your eyes, your nose and your mouth. That is all that really matters.

Ten years ago I could point to the relatively recent deaths of my parents, both in their 80's, and note that my health was better than theirs at comparative, that is equal, ages. Cancer was not really a worrisome issue as my mother never had a cancer and my dad didn't develop one, a rare and slow one (Padgett's Disease), until around age 82, and he lived to age 86, at that time perishing in a hospital due to idiotic malpractice following surgery for a bladder tumor. The surgeon failed to resume his (or any) anti-coagulant following surgery. My mother also perished in the same hospital near age 81 from bleeding out, following a catheterization where the doctor essentially ripped through one of her arteries. You might guess my confidence in that hospital bottomed out, and you would be right.

Okay ... there is an overall point to be made as stated to me by my wife Marie earlier in life. As my dad's friends perished due to old age cancers, even the ones miraculously enjoying extended life after open heart surgeries, Marie noted that virtually all of us die anyway of either a heart problem or a cancer. Old age is when something finally goes wrong that doesn't get fixed and before long we are kaput! She was oh, so right. Ergo, why spend time fearing the inevitable when we can't change the result for very long anyway? The point is simple. Live now to enjoy life as you want to live ... you aren't going to live forever and nothing is going to change that reality ... and does it really matter whether you die at 75, having lived a very full life, vs. 85, spending the last ten years increasingly and considerably physically and mentally debilitated?

To point: I stopped writing my typical Destiny articles about two years ago at the age of 73. Why? I realized that I wasn't keeping up with the world around me. I also realized that my depth and breadth of thinking was starting to suffer, particularly in difficult subjects. I had reached the point in my life where a wise person knows when to stop an activity where they once excelled. Indeed, like many older people, I note the decline of my short term memory. Though I am sometimes frustrated trying to remember a word I have learned to accept this change in me gracefully.

Marie's reasoning certainly affected how she lived her life ... very fully ... and she was wise to do so as she perished at age 60 from a brain tumor. Perhaps now you can better understand my iconoclastic attitude towards the world of doctors and (to my way of thinking) various types of health nuts. I simply did what I wanted and figured my choices wouldn't bring me down until age 75 at the earliest due to my genetics, noting that anyone's fate can change at any time due to an unexpected accident or fatal illness, like Marie's brain tumor. So now you know.

Indeed, I lost my best lifetime buddy to mesothelioma when he was 67. I lost another great friend to colon cancer when he was 68. I lost yet another fine renewed childhood friendship buddy to multiple myeloma at age 70. As I don't want to forget others prior to these specific losses I will simply say that I've a list of around 20 people I really liked or loved who perished in the age range of 27 to 57. Their fates were unfair, indeed horrible ... and losing my dear wife also, even before the three others mentioned above, just capped off all of it. Live to enjoy, not to last! You can't, you won't and neither will anyone else except the genetically gifted, and that isn't something that any of us can earn by good behaviors. Oh, sure, we can remain more mobile by staying physically active, and maybe more sharp by exercising our minds, but these are matters of degree, not exciting differences. Let's remember that all of the "remaining youthful" advertisements have you comparing yourself to some young model, whose lean and lithe body is something you will never have again for the rest of your life no matter what you do or what you consume.

I WON! I am now 75, I even made it past an unexpected cancer at the ages of 73/74, lymphoma, due to effective chemotherapy. Alas, my immune system did not protect me from that illness! But the immune system diminishment effects of that chemotherapy did cause me to start receiving annual flu shots. I'm not bothering to jump up and down because I don't jump so well anymore. Okay, my fault. But frankly, I don't have to do anything anymore to prove anything. I made it. So from now on I am in overtime "gift" mode, and I'm not worried about when I might die, for I have thoroughly immersed myself in the things I enjoy for a very long time. All I request is that when I go, if I go slowly, that plenty of end of life drugs be used to keep me comfortable on my way out. After that I merely expect to be ashes blowing in the wind.

Now, having bragged a bit and also having explained my rather polarized view of life, I will note on a more humble level that I did have to change a few of my bad habits. For example, I finally had to stop smoking right after my 73rd birthday as I finally started to show some negative lung results. I was told at an annual physical that my left lung sounded like "S**t!" Of course, six months later I had a physical with a new doctor who had me take a vital capacity breathing test, at which time I had amazingly fine results. I had no lung issues whatever. He stated that he never came across anyone before with a smoking history like mine who did not show clear signs of COPD. I smiled. Genetics trump stupidity (mine in both instances). So, I no longer smoke. I have no intention of resuming smoking as it was obviously starting to affect me. Alright, having smoked for 50 of my 75 years was long enough. So, as I know you've heard elsewhere, nothing good lasts forever.

Let me state an old feeling of fear and loneliness that I have expressed to others as an analogy. When I was a child I attended a summer church camp each year for a week, during which time I made a number of nice and frequently new friendships. We children lived in what was for us a totally different and fun world, only for a week, but when you are a child that is a considerable period of time. Well, on the last (partial) day of camp parents would arrive in no particular order to pick up their child, so one by one we all went away, leaving a very quiet camp and few and then no friends if one's parents happened to be the last to arrive. To be blunt, it felt awful being anything close to being the "last kid at camp."

I suspect you easily get the point of the analogy. When you get old, then older, you become ever closer to being the last "kid" at camp for your generation. If you live, say to 90, you will have probably lost all but one or two friends and possibly a few relatives from your own generation. You and your remaining friends and same generation relatives no longer run the world or use the parks or restaurants or buy the new cars or feel connected to society via your careers. You no longer take nice vacations. You are not only on your way out, you are a remaining oddity, consumed with feeling out of place for loss of virtually all the people you knew and cared about of your age group.

This, then, is the basis for older people often becoming very depressed. It certainly makes sense. We not only lose our own robustness we lose companions and loved ones as well, first in robustness and then to death. That sucks! Is it any wonder that I wrote years ago about our evolution using genetic engineering to enhance our life spans?

Okay ... So I'm pleased silly that I've made it to this age in reasonably good health and having done all that I ever wanted to do ... Well, except for that stint I wanted to work when younger as quality control director for a high class bordello! I will end this article now on that humorous note. Best of luck to all of you! May you make the most of your life!